Wow did I underestimate this mountain!!
I train a lot, working specifically on getting my stamina good for walking and increase leg strength so I was utterly shocked the toll 'Big Ben' had on my legs. I'm frantically trying to assess why, in fact that franticness and concern lasted all the way to the top of the highest mountain in the British Isles (all 1346 metres of it) and 3 hours 35 minutes of sheer pain in my legs. I cannot even tell you how many times I had to have a word, lecture, tell myself off especially when a young boy (about 8 years old) gleefully past back DOWN the mountain after conquering it.... "SORT YOUR SHIT OUT CATHY" was the mantra of the day (I think I shouted that out loud a few times at myself too).
Every visual corner I saw was a mental goal and motivator but when we reached it, it just seemed to get more steep and more rocky and was just endless especially when the visual corners were taken away by poor visibility (the thunder clouds were settled so you couldn't see very far in front of you). The false summits were heartbreaking as when you get there, you realise that you are still no where near the top and when people were walking down I ended up shouting "how long!!", oh only another hour they replied..... NOOOOOOO, this killed my head even more as I am supposed to be a warrior (I even have one tattooed across my back!) and I am stronger and fitter than Joe Bloggs, so why on earth was I struggling physically so much??!
But, we made it albeit I was grouchy and miserable as it honestly has to be the worst 3 hours 35 minutes I've ever had to endure. You couldn't see anything at the top as it was so misty and rainy, so we just had our picture taken (I think I even had a go a two guys for taking too long taking pictures oops!) on what we hoped was the top point, we had a quick and I mean quick sandwich as I just wanted to get the hell of that mountain........
But, then the descent, which was just the most greatest feeling at first, until a new pain set in; my right knee started screaming with every step down and toes felt they had been hit by a hammer and to make it even worse, everyone, their mother, dog and goldfish seemed to be walking past me! I had to stop to let people go past as they were tailgating me and I wanted to 'hulk smash' them all, firstly because they were up my ass, secondly and probably most strongly I felt inadequate, why was everyone passing me??!! The descent was never ending and I just felt like jumping off, I can honestly say it was horrible. But, we got down in 6 hours 51 minutes, although we had no choice on this one albeit jumping felt so much more appealing. Which takes me to my next point.... I am now so worried about Kilimanjaro because I have just endured what will be just 1 day from our scheduled 6 day trek back to back; this is going to be far worse than I ever imagined when I signed up for this. But, I am in this now and I never ever give up! But, my original excitement has turned to dread!
The one thing that wasn't right before we started was my head. The last few years and especially the last 6 weeks have drained all my mental strength because of life and looking after both my parents. So, when my heart rate monitor wouldn't marry with my watch after several attempts I just wanted to stamp on it and throw it over the edge and I actually thought I was going to have a break down but this is an indication that I don't feel good within myself ... Luckily, my boxing mentality kicked in and I just started walking with tears in my eyes and rage in my fists, this is something I can work on up to Kilimanjaro and I am hoping this won't be as bad as I am now fearing.
There is a part of me that wants to pull out but more of me will never allow that... So, I have to stop being so hard on myself as my warrior is still there as she got me up that mountain, but she is tired and worn. So, I'm going to be good to my inner warrior and allow her to rest and I need to work on my stress, cutting out things/people that don't need to be there and be kind to myself.
My Suunto Spartan watch was one brilliant motivator though as I watched the metres increase and it mapped the entire route, which was brilliant to see at the end with a double rum in my hand. And my Saloman X Alp backpack was so comfortable! ..... I'm holding on to EVERY silver lining!!
I train a lot, working specifically on getting my stamina good for walking and increase leg strength so I was utterly shocked the toll 'Big Ben' had on my legs. I'm frantically trying to assess why, in fact that franticness and concern lasted all the way to the top of the highest mountain in the British Isles (all 1346 metres of it) and 3 hours 35 minutes of sheer pain in my legs. I cannot even tell you how many times I had to have a word, lecture, tell myself off especially when a young boy (about 8 years old) gleefully past back DOWN the mountain after conquering it.... "SORT YOUR SHIT OUT CATHY" was the mantra of the day (I think I shouted that out loud a few times at myself too).
Every visual corner I saw was a mental goal and motivator but when we reached it, it just seemed to get more steep and more rocky and was just endless especially when the visual corners were taken away by poor visibility (the thunder clouds were settled so you couldn't see very far in front of you). The false summits were heartbreaking as when you get there, you realise that you are still no where near the top and when people were walking down I ended up shouting "how long!!", oh only another hour they replied..... NOOOOOOO, this killed my head even more as I am supposed to be a warrior (I even have one tattooed across my back!) and I am stronger and fitter than Joe Bloggs, so why on earth was I struggling physically so much??!
But, we made it albeit I was grouchy and miserable as it honestly has to be the worst 3 hours 35 minutes I've ever had to endure. You couldn't see anything at the top as it was so misty and rainy, so we just had our picture taken (I think I even had a go a two guys for taking too long taking pictures oops!) on what we hoped was the top point, we had a quick and I mean quick sandwich as I just wanted to get the hell of that mountain........
But, then the descent, which was just the most greatest feeling at first, until a new pain set in; my right knee started screaming with every step down and toes felt they had been hit by a hammer and to make it even worse, everyone, their mother, dog and goldfish seemed to be walking past me! I had to stop to let people go past as they were tailgating me and I wanted to 'hulk smash' them all, firstly because they were up my ass, secondly and probably most strongly I felt inadequate, why was everyone passing me??!! The descent was never ending and I just felt like jumping off, I can honestly say it was horrible. But, we got down in 6 hours 51 minutes, although we had no choice on this one albeit jumping felt so much more appealing. Which takes me to my next point.... I am now so worried about Kilimanjaro because I have just endured what will be just 1 day from our scheduled 6 day trek back to back; this is going to be far worse than I ever imagined when I signed up for this. But, I am in this now and I never ever give up! But, my original excitement has turned to dread!
The one thing that wasn't right before we started was my head. The last few years and especially the last 6 weeks have drained all my mental strength because of life and looking after both my parents. So, when my heart rate monitor wouldn't marry with my watch after several attempts I just wanted to stamp on it and throw it over the edge and I actually thought I was going to have a break down but this is an indication that I don't feel good within myself ... Luckily, my boxing mentality kicked in and I just started walking with tears in my eyes and rage in my fists, this is something I can work on up to Kilimanjaro and I am hoping this won't be as bad as I am now fearing.
There is a part of me that wants to pull out but more of me will never allow that... So, I have to stop being so hard on myself as my warrior is still there as she got me up that mountain, but she is tired and worn. So, I'm going to be good to my inner warrior and allow her to rest and I need to work on my stress, cutting out things/people that don't need to be there and be kind to myself.
My Suunto Spartan watch was one brilliant motivator though as I watched the metres increase and it mapped the entire route, which was brilliant to see at the end with a double rum in my hand. And my Saloman X Alp backpack was so comfortable! ..... I'm holding on to EVERY silver lining!!